Today we met with Janet, the "country expert," to learn more about the countries from which we might adopt. We asked tons of questions and learned a lot!
Some highlights:
Colombia is no longer an option for us since we discovered that strong (almost exclusive) preference is given to those of Colombian descent and the waiting period could be as long 2+ years from the time we submit our "dossier," which is likely to be late winter/early spring.
Either South Korea or Ethiopia will be the country we choose. Both seem to have more boys available for adoption than girls, but we have no preference and can't wait to be surprised. Both have children under 12 months old available (the average age is 9 months). In South Korea, children are typically available for adoption because of the social stigma of being a single mother. In Ethiopia, it's poverty and disease that makes so many children available.
South Korea is appealing for a variety of reasons. They have a wonderful foster care system, their travel requirements for the adoption are modest, and they have the most stable international program in the world. Janet did let us know that, unlike many countries, it is socially acceptable for Korean women to drink (sometimes during pregnancy) and we should pay attention to the possibility of fetal alcohol syndrome. Luckily, the birth mother's drinking habits are often included in the information we receive about our child. Korea, a constitutional democracy, is a significant ally of the US, a highly developed and sophisticated country with a robust economy, has an extremely competitive educational system (1st in the world in science literacy and 2nd in math), is a leader in high tech, and has a rich and interesting history. Most Koreans learn English in school, Koreans lead the world in the amount of hours they dedicate to work, and about 20% (or 10 million) of South Koreans live in the capital, Seoul. For more info on South Korea, click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_korea.
Ethiopia's capital is Addis Ababa and if we were to adopt from Ethiopia we would stay in this city for about a week. The geography and wildlife of Ethiopia can be quite stunning, it is a parliamentary republic with a prime minister (although it's deeply flawed), and, while there are over 80 indigenous languages spoke by Ethiopians, the main language of instruction in secondary school is English. It is an extremely poor country and the population has more than doubled in the past 20 years (it is now the 2nd most populated country in Africa).
If we were to adopt from Korea we would travel by ourselves, be met by a guide at the airport, and stay in a hotel before retrieving our child who we are only allowed to meet for 2 (1 hour) visits over the course of a few days before leaving Korea. We are not permitted to sight-see in Korea with our child, mostly due to "legal custody" issues. Alternatively, we could have our child escorted to the US and would likely meet them at LAX airport.
In Ethiopia the experience is somewhat different. Typically, multiple families travel at nearly the same time because it is such an active program (right now Ethiopia is 2nd only to China in the number of adoptees). We would stay in a guest house in a residential area near the orphanage our child lives in. For the first part of the week we would visit with our child and the 2nd half of the week our child would actually stay in our guest home with us to ease the transition. From what we understand, the Ethiopians will plan a variety of cultural activities for us and we'll get to know the people, place, lifestyle, and food. We hear the espresso is great! (Ethiopia actually had 2 wars with Italy, won both, and is fiercely proud that it has never been conquered). The Italian influence remains. We might possibly meet some of our child's extended birth family for a brief, organized visit. Sometimes, the Ethiopians will make a "Life book" for the adoptive parents (and sometimes a DVD, too) that chronicles our child's life so far (photos of where they were born/live, themselves, extended family) and gives us some context. For more info in Ethiopia, click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopia.
Our next step is to speak with the "liaison" agencies who will work with each country and BAAS and help us coordinate the entire process. Each liaison agency has their own set of procedures (yes, more paperwork and fees!) and if we choose Korea we will be making a weekend trip to Scottsdale, AZ to learn more from our liaison agency. We will also be speaking with couples who have adopted from each country to see what it was like from their perspective. Then it's onto FBI state and federal finger-printing and more paperwork.
Whether we choose Korea or Ethiopia, the wait time (which doesn't officially kick in probably until late winter/early spring when our "dossier" is complete) is about the same - reasonable but unpredictable. We may be adopting our child in 2009 or 2010 and we have no way of knowing until we get the call that our child is ready for us! Then we'll be on a plane a few months later and the rest of our lives begins :) We have absolutely no control of how long this will take so we're trying to be patient, despite how anxious we are to have and love our child! We know he or she is worth the wait :)
yikes! it takes as long to adopt a child as it does to give birth to one. all the best, and keep us posted!
ReplyDelete