Exiting news! A few days ago we received our approved 171-H from the Department of Homeland Security. This means that the US government has reviewed and accepted our complete application to adopt internationally, officially declaring us free to be matched with our baby from South Korea. Yay!
This means that Dillon, our Arizona agency who will match and place our child with us, is actively considering us for babies that need homes. We could receive a referral (i.e., photo, medical, and social history) any day now, although we expect it will take at least a few weeks. Then we will e-mail that information to a medical specialist in Oakland who can assess the medical profile and photo to help confirm that our child is healthy. Assuming that's the case, upon acceptance we begin the brutal 2-3 month wait to actually meet our child in person and introduce them to their home and family. We are almost unbearably excited and full of love for our son or daughter who we have never met.
In the meantime, we continue to prepare the nursery, read books on parenting, and get ourselves ready for this major life transition.
In the meantime, we continue to prepare the nursery, read books on parenting, and get ourselves ready for this major life transition.
I'm reading a powerful book right now called "The Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother" that is insightful and funny and helps me come to terms with the different feelings that come up during this process. At one point, the author, who adopted domestically and was in the delivery room when her child was born, reveals a deep and private awareness: "I was vertical when I should have been horizontal." It helps to honestly acknowledge the mixed emotions involved in this process, which ties together feelings of loss, sadness, and inadequacy with fulfillment, joy, and privilege.
I am an expectant mom and yet few know it or see it. I went out to eat the other night with a friend who is 5 and 1/2 months pregnant. We bumped into a mutual friend who asked my friend all about her impending bundle of joy with bright eyes and a giddy smile. I stood there, no baby bump, feeling invisible. I wanted to scream, "But I'm becoming a Mom, too! And my baby will be here just as soon and will be just as cute, precious, and wonderful!" Don't they know that a little miracle is about to make his or her way across the ocean? But adoptive mothers don't beckon admiring stares and wandering hands on stomachs. And that's tough stuff sometimes.
Onwards and upwards, though. We are thrilled to be at this stage and anxious to introduce all of you to our little one just as soon as we can!
Congratulations on the very special paper!! We know it is an exciting step. Now you can jump every time the phone rings! : ) We hope you hear soon. We look forward to more exciting news.
ReplyDeleteJane K.
Congratulations, Eve! I can't wait to meet your son or daughter.
ReplyDeleteThink of it this way: you get to enjoy the excitement of your child's impending arrival, and you get to do so while sipping a glass of Champagne, eating oysters, and nibbling brie if you so choose.
EveBert is the roundest, cutest, most perfectly formed baby in the world! Now that he is a real person this has become extremely exciting. Auntie Anne, Uncle Fred and Cousin Grace-anne are all thrilled!
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