The King and I

So what do you do when you really want your baby to be here but there's not a thing you can do about it? Create the nest! We spent another afternoon in Babies r Us where we updated our registry and picked out our crib set and nursery colors (light blue and green). Rob put together Leo's crib/toddler bed (thanks Grandma Rita and Grandpa Jim!) and we continue to work on the house so it's all ready when Leo arrives. It really is like a little king is coming and we want to roll out the red carpet for him! :)

Of course there's lots of mixed emotions as we settle uncomfortably into this idea of waiting. Leo turns 6 months on Sunday and it's bittersweet. We love to imagine what he's doing (gurgling, giggling, babbling) and yet it's also painful to know that we aren't there as his mom and dad to witness and share in those milestones. Well-intentioned folks say "he'll be here soon enough" but it's NOT soon enough. It certainly doesn't feel soon enough. Don't get me wrong - we are THRILLED that Leo is our son - that's why it's so hard to wait!

Other thoughts creep up. Will he like us? Will he understand us? What does he smell like? Are his cheeks really as soft as they look? We think about how hard it will be for his foster mom to have to let him go and say goodbye to him and we are overwhelmed with gratitude for how well she is caring for and loving our little Leo. I wonder, too, about his birth mom and how his absence must feel to her.

Adoption is an amazing, difficult, and beautiful process and when you participate in it you really do feel everything from the deepest grief to the greatest joy. Some people think of adoption as a second choice. Funny, though, in many ways it feels like a privilege. We feel honored to be Leo's parents and to have the opportunity to support and love him throughout his life. It's like we walked through a dark tunnel and are almost out into the bright, warm light. Just a few more steps and we're there! That's what keeps us going when we look at Leo's photo and wish he were actually here. We're so glad, too, that all of you are on this journey with us. Poor Leo - he has no clue how many people want to hug and squeeze him!

We were happy to discover that we can send a small package to Leo and his foster family to Korea (a traveling adopting family will take it with them when they go). We're encouraged to include a gift for Leo (we're sending a cute Giraffe security blanket), a gift for the foster mom, photos of ourselves and our family members, and a disposable camera that Leo's foster mom can use to take photos of him and then send back to us. So we'll keep you posted as we get new information and pictures. In the meantime, back to making the nest fit for our little king!