Sleepless in San Francisco

I flew all the way from Korea and boy are my arms tired ;P

Sorry for not posting sooner; it's been nonstop loving and caring for Leo since we got back on Friday after our brief stay in Seoul and long flight back to California. It was an emotional and meaningful goodbye with Leo's foster family; we hugged and cried, exchanged more photos and gifts, and thanked each other for loving Leo so much. It was a tough van ride to the airport in Seoul for Leo, with him crying and looking over our shoulders in search of Umma and Appa. The airport was a different story; Leo was curious and stunned by all the people, computers, and the largeness of the space; he laughed and screamed in delight, and enjoyed us and a lunch of rice puffs. Unfortunately, the flight got the best of our little guy, and he vomited and cried when he wasn't sleeping in our laps. What a trooper. And always adorable. So 3 outfits for him later and 2 for us after the flight, we emerged exhausted but relieved to be in California with him. Surreal and wonderful. I think I was in shock for the first day (actually, it was our 2nd day with him since we repeated Friday due to the time difference). On Saturday morning, as he slept on my chest in the chair in his room, I studied him - all his fine features, soft skin, pursed lips, and beautiful eyelashes - and became a puddle of tears. I felt a combination of extraordinary relief, love, and the feeling of being extremely privileged to have him as my child.

Leo's first few days with us have been a mix of moments of laughter and tears. Although he wasn't eating well at first (and still hasn't pooped! Yes, we've already talked to the doctor) every day he is developing a much better appetite. Yesterday in addition to his formula he had some pizza and mommy's special fusilli and tomato sauce for dinner and today he ate half a hamburger! So we are feeling more optimistic on that front. He is incredibly affectionate, clings to us, plays with us, mimics us constantly (yesterday he was imitating me grating cheese!), makes faces at us and laughs, and is getting used to hearing English and the size and look of our home. He wants constantly to be held and so we have really, really sore and tired arms (did I say sore?) but big smiles. The ergo carrier helps, but it's no replacement for scooping him up in our arms. Leo isn't walking yet, though he does pull himself up. Right now, though, most of his time is spent in mommy and daddy's arms.

At night is when his grief shows and he cries out for Umma, who coslept with him on the futon on the floor. We are working on sleeping with him in his room on the floor, but so far our nights are a mix of walking with him in our arms for long stretches (even sitting with him in the chair can lead to a big emotional outburst), bottle feedings, and eventual sleeping in a recliner or mommy and daddy's bed. Tonight we are trying the nursery floor again, to try to acclimate him to being in there. We've been told the most important thing is reassuring him we are there for him, not forcing him into the crib just yet. We've done a few crib trial runs, but none longer than 5 minutes.

He squeals and babbles and is everything we ever dreamed of. Our last day in Korea we received a final health report on Leo and in the "Character" section it reads, "He is content, calm, easy-going, inquisitive, cautious, and busy." He really does seem to enjoy trying to figure out how toys work, showing off his strength (he loves to open and close drawers, play with mommy's glasses, and put Robert's Phillies hat on and off his head), and is very conversational. He is intensely curious. Today he went to the doctor for the first time, got 3 shots, and was such a brave fellow! (I'll post a photo from the momentous occasion next post). He enjoyed the car-ride and very quickly adjusted to the carseat. Tomorrow he has some blood tests on the agenda so we'll have to be extra extra nice to him :)

I love his toes and his eyes and his giggles and his wiggles. It's worth the bags under my eyes! He's here - he's really here!!!!